The recent passing of the billionaire, Charles T. Munger, the partner of Warren Buffet, inspired me to write this essay. A week ago, I had dinner with a friend I’ve known for many years. He told me of the time in his life when he had been close to homeless having to live from paycheck to paycheck. As he told me how he achieved what he had, presently, a high paying job in software, it was clear that he had made certain career choices to become more financially stable. I told him that many people struggle all their lives with the issue of whether or not they will have financial security. Whereupon he told me of a relative he had, not lacking in intelligence in any way, that was having difficulty making ends meet. Regarding this individual, he commented that some people, for no apparent reason, simply do not do well in their lives.
My friend’s observation caused me to ponder how some of us struggle throughout our lives. Some can have all the accoutrements of success, such as looks and intelligence, but can’t find themselves in their journey, and they remain lost for much if not their entire lives. I was reminded of this a few days ago when I saw some movie clips of Judy Garland in her youth. As a child, like so many other children, I was hypnotized by her performance as Dorothy Gale, in The Wizard of Oz. In one of these clips, I learned that she helped Gene Kelly, who appeared with her in his first movie performance, adjust his acting style to the camera. Prior to this movie, Kelly had been a star on Broadway. Ms. Garland’s early film stardom had the unfortunate consequence of resulting in her choosing to ignore her health by abusing drugs in a lifelong effort to stay thin. Sadly, she lost the battle and died at the early age of 47. Though her failure in life appeared so incongruous with how she had once appeared, Ms. Garland is hardly alone in suffering this type of tragic ending.
All of us, at some point in our lives, come across people, like Judy Garland, that have this strange, but not so uncommon proclivity, to make the wrong choices for themselves repeatedly. Despite the fact that they live in a free society that allows them the wider range of opportunities not offered in a more restricted non-democratic society, they lack the social skills necessary to fit in with others.
Here I need confess, that although I was never hurting financially, there were times that it seemed incredibly hard to see in what direction I was heading. My sense of life was freighted with the negative. I saw the world through my distorted lens, and I am embarrassed to say I had contempt for those within my surroundings. It very well may have stemmed from my hypersensitive self not knowing how to handle the everyday jests made toward me and others like me. I had this weird subtle feeling that my slightest gesture toward others would result in some kind of unknown pain. I harbored an anger and resentment making me question humanity’s worth that resulted in an inner sense of nihilism. Fortunately, I abandoned this nihilistic view of reality as I began to sharpen my career goals and reconnect my inner self with what I needed to do to go forward.
Perhaps we all go through these phases of life, where we question ourselves, but then begin to pull things together and find a comfortable place to be. And of course, a place to be has to do with our understanding of who we are that will serve us as a compass for the social ties that will become so important in the future. Let me emphasize that finding our place is not a passive event that society imposes on us. Rather it is an active set of choices that we, as individuals make, to create a sense of worth and purpose that is an ongoing process. For some, the goal might be to stay where they are.
When I was a Psychology Trainee at a V.A. Hospital, I remember meeting a Philippine doctor whose candor toward me, a young man in my early 20’s, surprised me. He told me his friends and relatives wanted him to do more for himself by starting his own private practice. They were convinced he would be successful and make more money than he was presently. He told me he rather enjoyed where he was in life helping the patients he tended to at the V.A. I respected him, not only for his decision, but his honesty in sharing such an important part of his life with someone like me who was just beginning my professional life. He appeared to me to have found his own niche in life that best suited him.
This brings me back to Mr. Munger. Though many of us have heard of the great investor, Warren Buffet, my bet is that few of us would be familiar with Mr. Munger. When he was interviewed shortly before he died, he said the following that appeared in his obituary:
“I didn’t mind at all playing second fiddle to Warren. Ordinarily, everywhere I go I am very dominant, but when somebody else is better, I’m willing to play second fiddle. It’s just that I was seldom in that position, except with Warren. But I didn’t mind it at all.”
Some may think that Mr. Munger should have acted as the outspoken brilliant leader at all times to show how he could excel, but Mr. Munger found his place where he could serve as both a leader and a supporter. Although it may appear counterintuitive, success and happiness are not always the product of fame and fortune.
Dr. Bernard F. Natelson 