Because I taught in Bangkok years ago, I am familiar with some Thai customs and mores. Despite the fact that apparent chaos has permeated the news here in America and abroad, a recent trip to Thailand reminded me how cultural norms still purvey the order and decency many of us today find lacking. What follows are some of my favorite examples from my travels to Thailand.
There are two mass transits systems in Bangkok: 1) A Sky-Train that runs above ground level and a 2) Metro that runs underground like many of our subways here in America. These two transportation modes are a boon to the Thai population as they are faster and less expensive than taxis that have to deal with the terrible traffic endemic to Bangkok.
Upon entering the platform of either the Metro or the Sky-Train, there are arrows pointing toward doors to enter and arrows pointing toward exiting. These arrows are at every door and people, in a most orderly fashion, line-up behind the arrows in a straight line. The only people that might deviate from this simple procedure would be foreigners. In fact, there was a white male who had a walking cane appearing both somewhat impaired and confused standing in the middle of the rows marked by the arrows. When the Sky-Train or Metro cars arrive, everyone patiently waits until all have gotten off at the stop before anyone boards the train. This observance of orderliness simply does not exist in the subway system in New York City, perhaps the city, with regard to population density and activities, that can best be compared to Bangkok.
However, the civility and propriety that Thai exhibit in the mass transit system becomes a state of bedlam when it comes to vehicular traffic patterns. To start, tourists and guests need recognize that Thais have adopted the English custom of driving on the left rather than the right side of the road. Then there are the motorcycles weaving and bobbing in all directions. Although most busy streets have traffic lights, some do not and, you as pedestrians, do not necessarily have the right of way. In some ways this is also true of New York City, where visitors to the city need to look at cars coming rather than traffic lights as cars do not always stop when a light turns red. But New Yorkers do not face the many motorcyclists so ubiquitous in Bangkok traffic. Other cities in the United States, may treat the pedestrian with much greater respect than that found in New York. In San Francisco, for example, the pedestrian has the right of way at all crosswalks and it behooves automobile drivers to follow this rule.
On a trip to Thailand with my college roommate, Jack, he discovered that motorcyclists parked at the sides of streets, who were wearing orange vests, were available for hire to take riders wherever they wanted to go. When we decided to separate and see different sights, upon returning he told me he had been driven to his destination by one of these motorcycle operators. There is a curious contrast in the behavior of these drivers, I believe typical of the Thai culture. When inquiring about a ride and showing one of them where you wish to be taken, that driver will point to the driver whose turn it is. Thus, rather than hawking your business they cooperate with each other in a very organized manner. However, once you are on the back of the motorcycle, as I indicated in the above, all order disappears.
Thai motorcyclists are excellent operators and, are probably the fastest transport for short distances, especially, if the two mass transit systems are not nearby. Although they all wear helmets, they do not provide them to their riders. I have regularly seen young Thai females, perhaps students, mount them and ride them with little fear. The first time I was on one reminded me of my first ride on a roller coaster. These motorbikers move intrepidly from lane to lane in bumper car traffic managing to find the fastest route to their goal. It can be scary at times and, I’m sure accidents have occurred. If an accident did happen, it would be the fault of a car that did not see the biker. And as I indicated in the above, for short distances a motorcycle ride is a very good alternative as walking long distances in both the heat and traffic can be aversive.
One of my more humorous experiences occurred when I was going to meet some Thai friends in Chiang Mai, a city in Northern Thailand. Somehow the taxi took me to the wrong address. There was a woman on a motorbike, who looked to be in her 70’s, that wanted to help but as she could not speak English and my ability to communicate in Thai was extremely limited, I called my friend who told the woman, in Thai, where I needed to go. As the woman offered me a ride, I mounted her motorbike and, she drove me to the spot where my friend met me. What surprised me was how agility in handling her bike at her age. I would not trust myself to operate a motorcycle in city traffic, or for that matter in any kind of traffic, at her age. As it turned out, my destination was only about one mile away and, when I offered to repay her for her generosity, she refused to accept any money.
Years ago, during a trip to Thailand with my younger brother, Andrew, upon returning to our hotel at night, we walked down a dark alley that led to the hotel. When he asked me if we were in danger of being robbed or mugged, I told him no. On the contrary, I would not recommend tourists coming to America, who are staying in urban areas, to walk down blind alleys. The risk is far greater being robbed in America as a tourist than in Thailand. But then again, if you are a tourist, you need be careful about taxis. I have been told by natives of Bangkok that before getting into a taxi make sure you ask the driver to put the meter on (word in Thai is “meter,” as in English, but pronounced differently).
As my recent trip was coming to an end, I decided to visit the Saxophone Pub, a place that I had been to with my wife, Lisa, and friends several times in the past. The concierge assured me there would be a saxophone playing some jazz tunes. When I arrived, though it was a Tuesday evening, the place was jam packed. Having come alone, I was seated right behind the front half circle that surrounds the players, the best seats in the house.
During the performance I noticed a young Thai couple sitting in front of me. It was clear from their body language that they were quite in love with one another. Cheerfully, they were drinking and toasting each other. When some young women sitting next to them left, I quickly moved up to the semi-circle, next to the couple, allowing me to have a much better view of the jazz quartet. I lifted my beer to both of them and said in Thai the word for “Cheers.” They smiled at me and I smiled back. Suddenly, another glass of beer was placed in front of me by the waiter and, with a look of bewilderment, I wondered if the drink had been delivered to the wrong party. The waiter pointed to the couple indicating that the male had bought it for me.
I thanked them both for the gesture in my limited ability to speak Thai. When I told them that I had taught psychology at ABAC in Bangkok, the girlfriend told me that she had graduated from there a few years back. Because the school is international and English is the language in which the classes are taught, I knew she could speak English enabling me to begin a conversation with her. She told me her name was Ploy and her boyfriend’s name was Chi. Although his family was Chinese, he was raised in Thailand so he spoke both Mandarin and Thai. Ploy was fluent in English and Thai. At first, she apologized telling me that her English was only so and so, but it was clear to me that this was not the case insofar as she made no grammatical errors in the conversation. She told me that she had started studying English when she was 8 years old.
Because many Asian languages do not have different tenses to describe changes in time as English does, grammar is difficult for Asians to master when they learn English. However, on the contrary, Thai and other Asian languages, though lacking the complexity of grammar, are still extremely difficult to learn because they are tonal. Once when I was in a Thai restaurant in Bangkok, I ordered a bowl of rice but was brought a glass by the waiter. To the Western ear, the Thai word for glass and rice sound almost the same.
Couples that are in love fill the air with a sparkle and enthusiasm that one can relate to if one has experienced that sparkle. Their sparkle that evening was enchanting. I certainly had that excitement when I first met my wife, Lisa, only hoping that she felt the same about me. And I had the good fortune that she did! That sensation of love is what movie goers experience in a Hollywood ending when boy meets girl, conflict arises between the two, but somehow, they overcome the conflict to live happily ever after. I learned that they had known each other for 9 years but only started dating two months ago. I told them it was obvious to me that they were very much in love with one another and that pleased the boyfriend so much that he offered me a glass of the third bottle of wine he had purchased.
When Ploy told me they were both drunk I cautioned Chi not to drive and, they wisely chose to stay at a hotel that evening. We exchanged information through Line, a connection many Asians have that is similar to Skype. When Ploy let me know she and Chi were planning to get married in December, I kiddingly told her my wife and I would make it our best effort to come to their wedding. We parted company smiling with big grins on our faces when Ploy told me they just might invite us to their wedding. Now that’s quite a great ending to my trip, isn’t it?
Dr. Bernard F. Natelson 